I was looking through my files today and found this drawing. I have drawn it in 2013, but happened to forget to post it. It isn't finished but I figured that I'd never finish it anyway, so here it is.
This drawing is called depression. I have drawn my point of view of depression, being depressed by the time I had drawn it.
The image itself looks like a half covered with skin, half skinless profile human. This representes the exposure to inner injuries.
The head. Much like I have drawn, it is a mess. We cannot seem to separate reason from emotion and emotion from feeling and feeling for sensation. We don't know who we are, what we are, and how we are. All we know is that it hurts.
The sewed mouth. We're not supposed to say what and how we feel. We're not supposed to call attention. We're likely to become quiet and closed to our own selves, keeping our tongues asleep.
The eyebag. Insomnia.
The donkey ear. The attention we give to criticism. The ability we develop to distort others' words and make them harm ourselves. We get so used to the feeling of being harmed that it becomes a habit. And we become sensitive, vulnerable to any poke we suffer.
The nose. This part is rather subjective, for I have suffered of bullying ever since I was brought out of my mother's womb for my jewish nose.
The cervical made of stones. It represents our lack of ability to turn our heads around to see that there may actually be beauty in life. We cannot.
The dark fog. The loneliness. The darkness. The pain.
When I tell people Jesus saved me, they tend to think that it's probably one of those boring stories, where you were sad and then poof; Jesus!
But he was the only one who gave me what I had craved my whole life long.
People nowadays say "Oh, Kai talks about nothing else. Kai's become boring. Kai this, Kai that." Speak as much as you wish, my friends, but it was only through Him that I have made it.
We were not born to face this darkness. We cannot handle it alone.
Push away your pride and recognize that alone you cannot do it. And if you insist that you can, okay. Then go for it! You've got nothing to lose.
Let us help you. Many people and I have been where you are. No matter how much worse your situation may seem, there is always a solution. God is the solution.
You're worth it. You're beautiful. You're amazing, my friend, and I love you with all my heart. Whoever you are, I will pray for you.
"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first." John 15:18
I'll be posting more drawings of mine from my depressed era. I'll post them here and delete them from my files, because no longer they belong to me.
That Kai is dead now. :3